“Happy Halloween!” The tow truck man said. Then he took away my car. I asked him to, though, so it wasn’t a spooky thing. Then the mail lady came and gave me a small almond joy. Life is so quaint. Bring on November!

What are you going to be for Halloween? I am going to be a popcorn ball. No wait, I am going to eat a popcorn ball. I am going to be JFK eating a popcorn ball.

I feel so refreshed, for some reason! I have some new ideas for my life. Maybe it’s the LSD, or the allergy medicine. One idea is to start an apple gang called the HoneyCrips. Another idea is to make handbags and coats from the skins of stingrays. Investors, I hope you are reading because seriously, have you ever petted a stingray? They are very soft!

Autumn has come to Texas, and she is seventy degrees and wet. Consequently, I am trying to brush up on talking points that don’t involve the election, sexual assault or youth prisons. Here we go.

Tonight, Sophie and Jesse and I painted our nails. It was great. I bought some new pants on the Internet because the Internet said they would be shipped for free. I love free shipping. If I were an investor I’d invest in UPS because until things can be broken down into tiny molecules, transported and reassembled at receival sites by computers and robots, we will need deliverypeople to deliver boxes large and small. They’re like teachers and doctors, but better, and armed with surprises. OH and here’s something good! — Do you think postmodernism is more like a strip mall or a piece of tupperware? Let me know.

When things become dicey politically or personally I often resort to role-playing. Usually, in the face of criticism, I pretend that I am a freshly-sealed deck or a wax candle. Tomorrow during my Bio 301D test I will be Steve Jobs. Not really because he is good at bio but because I feel like wearing a mock turtleneck.

I keep seeing turkey vultures eating baby animals at the corner of Hemphill and 30th streets. This could mean 2 of 3 things:

a) I love toast
b) the Taliban will dance in the streets (just in general)
c) i am ready to commute by skateboard

Long live the first amendment and stuff like it.

On an epicurean note, I’m really looking for some new lunch options besides (1) hemp bread with nut butter, (2) chik’n nugget salad and (3) obscene protein bar. so far i have had some banana soy pudding and it has been delicious, but i’m scarily partial to anything pudding but i feel as if i’m on the road to cavity town if i don’t start eating more adult food. thanks.

LOL

The ‘lection is sooo soon! I am just beside myself because I cannot decide WHO to vote for. I wish the candidates were not so black and white. Is there no middle ground? I don’t get it — America is like, all middle ground, physically at least. Can’t we all just be a nation of inward-leaning, libertarian a$$hole$? I miss 1992.

I’m a little off my rocker right now; I think it’s because I had some Baked Lays earlier. I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before again. One class I am taking this semester is Bio for Business and Liberal Arts majors and I really need to try harder at passing it. The other class I am taking, Culture and FOod, is completely fabricated. THe professor makes everything up. Swear to G. But on Monday she brought us real, live Mexican coffee and it really was a nice treat. Well, time for the weekend.