Monthly Archives: November 2008
On my way to Illinois on Wednesday I had to connect in Houston so I only had time to complete 1/3 of the Continental Airlines Magazine crossword puzzle before landing (It’s like, a 2 min flight from Aust. to Houst. Why bother, right?). I meant to take my partially completed puzzle with me to toy with in the second leg of my journey but in the awkward flurry that is deboarding, I forgot. But THEN on my flight to Chicago, I should open up the Continental Airlines Maagazine only to find the crossword puzzle 2/3 completed, with holes left in the exact places I had filled in during flight #1. Crossword kismet! I am so thankful! Also, i realized that if all else fails, I can work for an airline magazine.
I haven’t done a reflection in a while because the hard edge of news has rendered my prose into brittle bits of bone. Where can I find Tums for the pen? Reflections are boring.
In life there are times to love and times to mourn. Mostly I mourn. Right now I’m reflecting on my favorite friend who disappeared: Dunkin’ Donuts Marshmallow Blend coffee. It used to be that you could get this exquisite blend anywhere in Albany, NY or the surrounding metro area. But then one day it was only available at the Dunkin’ Donuts near Penn Station. And then one day it was gone.
Yes, the life of a niche product is finite. But this coffee tasted like angels’ wings, and I miss it. I miss it every day.
Oh boy. As a wizened Norm MacDonald once asked in the film “Dirty Work,” “When is lunch?” Seriously. I’m hungry.
Thanksgiving! My aunt has created a Kitchen Cabinet for the occasion and has appointed me Secretary of Dishwashing. I could not be more thrilled at the prospect of serving my family and taking on the responsibilities that this position demands. Rest assured I have been thoroughly vetted and submitted copies of this blog and various newspaper clippings to her, including the time I told the University of Texas at Tyler’s newspaper that their student government was totally wack.
The good news of the year is that I passed Biology for Business and Liberal Arts Majors by a margin of three quarks on the edge of a razor blade. The bad news is that this good news gets me no closer to befriending the standoffish sceptre of employment. Reality? Check!
Notes on Personal Finance: a Guest Bloch
by Hannah Bloch-Wehba
This week I bought three apples instead of fourteen, because I live alone and the economy is bad.* Then I checked my Schwab account and found I’d lost money. Slate says, “If you’re 20 years old and want to spread your risks, mortgage your retirement today.” I’m not 20 years old anymore (Bloch-Wehba turned 21 last week. —ed). And it’s getting harder and harder to get a mortgage around here.
Sometimes it gets really cold in my apartment. How cold is too cold? When do I have to turn on the heat? The heat smells like burning. I’m going to try to make it to December, and in the meantime, keep warm by the heat of the preheated stove.
Sometimes we say things like, “Next week is job week.” But next week is really “Find out how to stow away on a privately-owned cargo ship destined for the Middle East, anywhere but the Gulf States, week.” The week after that is “Get emotionally ready for Israel week.” Programming includes learning how to properly bake a four-strand challah braid, making mulled Manischevitz, eschewing Facebook on the Sabbath and otherwise feigning piety.
* They were organic so I didn’t even save money, but I did get some extra crunch for my buck.
Ninth anniversary of my appendectomy today
Happy birthday Hula Hoop. The Hula Hoop is 50 this year, but the wheel is like 32947 and the circle is 203948230-93-094 x 10^6 so go figure. I love hula hooping. In fact, I am hula hooping right now.
The March sisters react to the election of Barack Obama.
Meg: Heavens me! Though I have been laid off from my position as governess for the King family, I know this most handsome man will see us through these trying times. He is as handsome as ever, despite the War.
Jo: I only long to be respected as a fearless woman in society. I will not marry for money despite what wretched Aunt March says. Blast that woman. I shall donate my hair to moveon.org. Don’t tell father.
Beth: Perhaps the President’s joyous call for health care will cure this fever that ails me. I only wish to bake cakes in quiet and help immigrants, and receive ledger credits for doing so.
Amy: I am so blonde and pure. I am an America that was. No one likes me.
1. The Patriot Talon, Sept. 29.
Leah Finnegan, editor of the Daily Texan, said she has an open relationship with her SGA members. “For lack of a better term, what [the UT Tyler SGA are] doing is wack,” Finnegan said.
2. The Daily Nebraskan, Nov. 4.
“I don’t give a huge amount of weight to our endorsement,” said Finnegan, a senior American studies major. “This year … there was kind of a duh factor.”