Like an addict to the needle, I used to fancy the Web site www.crimelibrary.com. hours upon hours of halcyon hours i spent in my village j dorm room, laptop in lap (r.i.p. laptop), reading archives of mediocre crime stories. anyway i bring this up because canada’s infamous “pig killer,” robert “willie” pickton, who killed 50 hookers and fed them to his pigs on his pig farm (and also had 600-pound boar as a pet [and also last night we had boar ribs for dinner, which were ne plus ultra the most excellent boar ribs]) was sentenced today, and his crimelibrary story was always one of my favorites. anyway i gave up crimelibrary.com for spring break one year because reading it was decidedly unhealthy for my worldview. also the entries actually sucked.
presently, as time closes in on another dazzling semester of college — how they pass! like stamen falling from the flower! — i am up two backpacks, down seven ant bites, up one yogurt, one container of floss and one tube of carmex stolen from wal-mart, down one extension cord [edit 12/12: i found the extension cord.] and one miniature cactus (r.i.p.r.i.p.). in conclusion, i’m making some serious bank here in texs. I will Win! Soon my wise investments will reward me!— with strong bones, soft lips and multiple carry-on options.