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Ms. Potter grew up on Sutton Place, in Connecticut and on a thoroughbred farm in County Kildare, Ireland. Her godmother was Sybil Connolly, the Irish designer who dressed Jackie Kennedy (Ms. Potter has six of Ms. Connolly’s dresses, though she said she doesn’t have much occasion to wear them).

Mr. Potter, the child of foreign service officers, was born in Norway and raised all over the world: Washington; Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam; Dar es Salaam, Tanzania; Hong Kong.

The two met in Manhattan in the 1980s, Whit Stillman’s Manhattan, where young women like Ms. Potter wore mink coats to Upper East Side clubs like the Zulu Lounge and Private’s.

“The doormen called her a ‘minkie,’ ” Mr. Potter said. He was a D.J. and a manager at these places and others (Nell’s, the Tunnel), a haughty aristocrat who made deft mixes and kept a young Madonna, who plied him with her EPs, at bay. “The only song I liked from that untalented woman was ‘Holiday,’ ” he said.

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